Sunset Love

DEDICATED WITH LOVE TO A DEAR DEAR FRIEND, S.
THE SUN IS STILL SHINING ON YOU, WISH YOU GREAT HAPPINESS, FOREVER AND EVER.


Sometimes love comes to you in your sunrise years. In the dawn of youth. It’s a wonderful feeling. You bask in its early morning warmth. Then the heat rises and passion takes over. You sizzle in the afternoon Sun of love with a burning desire. And fan its flames with the sultry winds of the day. And for some, the flame grows, casting its bright light on all others, blinding others as it grows to encompass all that comes within its reach. And then it’s evening and there is a cooling down, a simmering flame that now needs to be tended with care protecting it from the evening gusts that could well blow the flame out completely.
Sometimes love comes to you in your sunrise years. Sometimes it stays with you, growing, glowing in the warmth of the day and into the sunset years changing from the warmth to the heat to the sizzle to the burn to the simmering flame till your very end.
Sometimes love in your sunrise years does not last. It sets with the evening Sun. And you can see it dipping down below the horizon. You plead, you beg for it to stay but as inevitable as the setting Sun you see the last arc of it disappear down the West.
Sometime the sunrise years don’t bring any love. Or if they do, you don’t recognize it in the blazing light of the day. Perhaps you are blinded by youth. By arrogance. By beauty. By naivete. By foolishness. By intelligence. By love itself. There are so many reasons. Perhaps you are restricted by some dark spots in the Sun. Sometimes where there should be light, there are shadows. And in that fragile moment, in the glorious sunshine of youth, love passes you by, and when you realize it, it’s too late.
But sometimes love waits. Till you’re done. Waits till the day is done. And the Sun is on its way down. Dipping down into the horizon. Casting a reddish pink glow in the sky. The kind that lovers sit on embankments by the sea watching wordlessly hand in hand. The kind that brings a smile on your face. The kind that creates a kind of hush all over the world.
There it is, standing in the dark street corner that you’ve always avoided. In those shadows that you’ve not noticed. In those nooks and crannies that you’ve forgotten to dust. In those crevices of your mind that you’ve chosen to ignore. In those memories, like old photographs that are so faded you don’t even want to try and make out the shapes anymore.
From there emerges love. Not on horseback. Not with great fanfare. Not with great guns blazing. Or a triumphant trumpet call.
But a quiet, gentle stepping out of the shadows. A light tap on the shoulder. A fragrant zephyr that tenderly plays with your hair. A butterfly kiss on your cheek.
And before you know it love encompasses you like the soft rays of the evening Sun. Bathing you in the rosy light of the evening glow. Like a Sun that has lost its fury but not its passion. A Sun that does not blaze but glows. A Sun that does not burn but shines.
And it’s that glow that will take you into the twilight. Into your twilight years. A gentle flame that warms the heart, bringing you the joy that you thought your sunrise years lost out on. And you walk confidently into the darkening sunset knowing that this flame will take you into the deepest, darkest night with a light that will shine on in your heart for as long as you live.
It’s sunset love.

A Hole in the Heart

Every person over time gets a hole in the heart.
You may have it too.
That one little empty place, that no matter how much you try, you cannot fill.
It may happen because it’s a gap that someone left behind. Or some place that no one or nothing filled. Or it was just a tiny little crack that became a yawning gap with neglect.
You don’t notice it at first. You are so caught up in the inconsequential things that fill your life. You are so hell bent on head ruling over your heart. Oh yes… no holes there in your head. And the heart is pushed aside as you charge through your day triumphing over every challenge that comes your way, bravely vanquishing mountains of opposition as you reach the end victorious. Oh yes… your head helped you win. So did your heart… by just stepping aside. By not being there.
And soon it becomes a habit.
Head over heart.
Head over heart.
Head over heart.
Till like a train thundering towards its destination the rhythm sets in, the fast motion, the speedily changing landscape and you feel you are moving forward with a purpose.
And while you do, you drop things by the wayside. That relationship. That opportunity to help. That chance to bend backwards for someone. That reason to go out of the way for someone. No way. You are on the right track and nothing, no one, is going to derail you.
Till you derail yourself.
And on a lonesome evening with much time for thought you realise you have reached your destination. Only there’s no one there. It’s just you on an empty platform with no address to go to. And you look inside your head for answers but there are none. And then your heart comes forward. It’s bleeding from that hole you neglected. It’s empty out there. And you can’t fill it. You can never ever fill it.
And you do your best. You lie, you blatantly lie: all is well. But the gap will not fill. You imagine, another time, another place where all is whole again, but the heart knows only the truth – not imagination. And then you try to fill the gap with things, more things, but the more you put in to that black hole the bigger it seems to get. And you realise that nothing can fill that gap you created. Nothing can stop that bleeding. Nothing that you put in there will bridge the gap.
And you crumble on the platform on your knees. Your suitcase of things you have collected over time by your side. And you realise that you’ve packed the wrong things for this journey. And you realise through unshed tears that what you should have been carrying was just one thing: Love. And there would have been no gaping void. No emptiness. No hole in the heart.