Resolve that...

 It's that burdensome time of the year when all people do is wait for the current year to end and the new year to begin. You count the months. Then count the days. Then count the hours and then painfully come to the final countdown which is seconds. And then the New Year begins with the hope that because one of the four digits has changed in the year everything, but everything, will change. All looks good. All izz well. 

And then the New Year dawns and in the harsh light of the morning all the good looks disappear and you're left with the stark reality of all your follies and your failings, your oversights and your overconfidence, your ignominy and your ignorance.

And shocked and ashamed you draw yourself to your full height (even though you're probably still in bed) and you decide this will all end. It has to end. It's a new day after all. And a new year to top it. 

And you resolve that...

Your world will change. 

You'll deal with your demons head on. 

All vices destroyed with one fell swoop of determination. 

Those niggling little quirks all vanquished with big doses of persistence. 

And with one large elaborate plan that will put large governments to shame you decide all the other failings will be taken care of. 

So out comes the paper and pen. Or probably the iPad. Or very likely just the Notes app on your phone. (Resolutions are so easy these days with tech!)

And with guns blazing, (alright, with the tip-tip of the key pad) you're off building a very impressive list. (The kind of list you make when you go to the supermarket - you dont want to miss a thing!)

And you get started. Wo! You're on a roll.

10 is better than 5. And 15 better than 10.

Quantity is better than quality.

And you're sure, of those 10 (or is it 12?) you ll definitely manage to succeed with 8, ok realistically 5, ok... At least all of January! 

But no, you're not set up for failure. This is it. This is the year. This is the watershed year. 2014! 

But hang on... What if... What if you just looked at one thing? One big thing? Or one small thing? Just one important thing that you want to change in the new year?

What if everything you did right through the year was devoted to it? Everything for one thing. 

Research says that the most popular resolution worldwide is to lose weight. I could take that example. What if I took that as my one and only resolution and did everything within my means to succeed in that? 

It means waking up early to work out (Resolution 7) eating healthy (Resolution 5)  managing work-life balance (Resolution 2) and finally getting some semblance of order and discipline in my life! (This being a bonus!) 

But of course this is not your resolution. You? You are the picture of fitness. 

So then, what's yours? 

Read more? 

Write more? (Mine.) 

Make more money? 

Spend more time with the kids? 

Devote more time to yourself? 

Win the Nobel Prize? 

Or the Pulitzer for God's sake!

Pick one. Just one. Take it and run. It's just that one thing you have to set your sights on! One single-minded focus. One steely resolve. A one track mind.

Chances are you'll fail. So what? Pick yourself up, brush off the dirt and get back on the wagon. it's just one thing to think about. 

And chances are you'll succeed. Whoa! Fabulous, you've got your ducks in a row. Now move on to another one. Pick another one. But yet, just one!  And if that goes well, another one again. Get it?

So for 2014 here's what you do...

Find one. And run. 

Simply resolve that... you'll succeed. 

Fear of failure

All of December I agonized thinking of all possible cliches:
How time flies!
Is it December already?
Oh my God! It's the year end.
The new year is barely a month away!
Oh... Wasn't it just yesterday?

Well... I need not elaborate... You know the drill.
Eyes rolling upwards.
Head shaking from side to side.
Dramatically smasing fist on table.
As if that bit of melodrama might move the heavens to give you just a wee bit more time before the big date change!
13 months to a year perhaps?

And the reason for this agony?
Simple. The new year brings with it (yes, yes, revelry, celebrations, shots and hangovers apart) the terrible curse of New Year resolutions!

In Shakespearen times, they'd probably have the lady raise her hand delicately to her forehead and say dramatically (loudly across The Globe for those in the ha'penny seats to hear) "Alas! Woe is me!" and she would have then sunk gracefully down against the wall as her Romeo-equivalent came forward to comfort his lady love.

However these are modern times. No melodrama. No sinking on the floor (I don't think I'd be able to get up either, but I digress). In these times, you just kind of raise your chin, walk tall, ignore walls that you can lean against and think.And think hard.

New year is around the corner, honey. And you, yes, You, have to make your new year resolutions. Like now?

So there after all those time-related expressions, I retreat into a quiet corner a.k.a. My desk and try between calls and mails to think of suitable new year resolutions.

It's not difficult at all.

Even in December which is a good 11 months from January, it's easy to think back to probably the 3rd of January. Not difficult. Because that's when your resolution about not eating junk food disappeared. Well, it was just one Vada-Pav, maybe two!

And then remember January 9th? The friend's wedding? Oh come on, you can't not partake of the festivities. The bride does look sweet, doesn't she?

And you did last out till the 11th of January didn't you, before you took a wee little, really really small drink to celebrate a colleague's promotion? You wouldn't be seen as a damp squib, wet blanket, etc etc, whatever they call those party poopers these days, would you now?

So coming back to December. Blank paper. A fountain pen (Lamy) elegantly poised over the page and you're ready! You're so ready, you've even put numbers 1 to 10 down a straight left margin on the page.

This time you're going to write them down, frame them, announce them to the world, create a Mastermind group, or join Resolution-breakers Anonymous, if there is a group like that. Suddenly there is a whole lot of enthusiasm (the page is still blank, but never mind) and you know you're going to so stick to your resolutions.

Eat healthy.
No this, that and the other)
No junk food.
(An endless list)
Cut down on coffee.
No, no. Cut that resolution out!
Cut down on sweets
(Ha,so easy! And there are no wedding invites for Jan this year!)
Eat more vegetables.
(This IS getting easier and easier)
Work out before work.
(Ok... No, after work. If it's not too late. On the weekends at least? Got that one right. Phew.)
Read one book a week, a month perhaps.
Write. Blog. Tweet.
(Like everyday?)
Write more.
Watch less TV
(But don't miss on the good shows so you can write)
Write some more.
And then there those professional ones you don't share on a public forum.

There!
With a flourish it's all done.
Ready to come out on a chilly January morning, when the first rays of the New Year Sun peep over the horizon.

But by 31st December, the ink has dried, the paper crumpled.
Those bullet points don't look so good anymore.
You agonize over some more changes.
Should you add one more?
Like... No road rage?
Naah!
No sacking maids?
(Don't be a fool!)

And then you look at it again.
Isn't this list almost the same as the one you made the year before? And the year before that?
If you looked, you'd probably find the one you wrote out in 2005. (Okay, not with the same pen but...).

Now it's agony. You have to, simply have to, stick to this year's resolutions.
How will you do it?
How will you not break this year's resolutions?
New age psychologists would call it fear of failure.
But you're not listening to new age psychologists. You are listeining to your inner self!

And then that first ray of the New Year shines on you! And you have the answer.
Rip! Tear! Shred!
The best way to not break your resolutions?
Simply don't make them!